Talking Body

Last year I wrote about understanding my body; the natural extension is to talk about understanding other people’s bodies. Unfortunately, this seems to be impossible. Health and sickness do not occupy everyone’s bodies the same way. There’s that friend who eats trash everyday and stays model-thin, and the one that eats painstakingly portioned salads and…

Can’t Fight This Feeling

I’ve felt off lately. Only this year, it’s not a scratchy throat and sniffly nose. It’s internal, a vast, cloudy feeling that’s been colonizing larger and larger tracts of my consciousness. Sometimes, it sends me on long walks through the glen or across empty fields, and other times, it leaves me lying in bed and…

Fragments

Poet, translator, essayist, and embodiment of my life goals Anne Carson is on campus this week, and yesterday I went to her Q&A. While talking about writing and inspiration, she described how she often has ideas of things she wants to write and then plays with form until she find their “home.” Some ideas are…

You Can Hold It Against Me: On Keeping Grudges

It’s a societal default to believe that grudges are bad. I’m not supposed to hold onto negativity. I’m supposed to remember that people change. That’s all well and good for small transgressions. The classmate that seemed rude may have just been shy. The friend that snapped at me may have just been tired. The boy…

I Should Drop My Routines Like a Bad Habit

Some people need help making routines; I need help breaking them. I have this nasty habit of seeing any aberration from my established schedule as a personal failure. For instance, last night I had to stay up late to finish an essay, and when I finally crawled into bed I set my alarm for later…

Stop Pursuing Happiness

When I wrote a list of things that would make me happy, I thought I was being lenient. I didn’t say I needed millions of dollars. I didn’t say I needed eternal love or a celebrity spouse. I didn’t even say I needed a job. All of my requests were simple things, like socks or…

When a Small School Feels Smaller (and smaller, and smaller…)

Last year I wrote about how much I loved going to a small (~2000 student) college. And while I still love the intimate environment that is the Small Liberal Arts College Experience, like with any mature relationship, my love has grown more nuanced over time. Like the way a person starts to notice her partner’s…

Year One

One year ago I needed to express myself. One year ago I felt my Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, my other online outlets of my visions and thoughts were too restricted. The choices I’d made while curating myself made each of them a site to view me from a specific angle–Rachel the socialite and tentative activist on…

What’s the Point?

For about as long as I’ve given it any sort of thought, my baseline philosophical beliefs have strayed toward nihilism. Sure, I’ve flirted with other theories before–I wrote a whole post about Heidegger–but when all else has failed me, nihilism has been there. The main idea of nihilism as I understand it (read as: potentially…

The Heart of a Space

This week, the Res Life office at my college determined it was time for me to transition from summer housing to fall housing. They gave me the weekend to condense entirety of my single room into a collection of boxes labelled in a semi-logical way and move the whole thing… about three suites down the…